By Mark Weyermuller -
My front lawn Halloween decorations in the northern suburbs of Chicago have been called the scariest in the state of Illinois. What’s scarier then politicians? For the past 15 years, we have had orange lights, plastic pumpkins, air blown characters and full sized figures of celebrities, candidates, and elected officials.
President Donald J. Trump is back watching over the yard. He looks over at the democratic candidates including Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigieg, Elizabeth Warren, Joe Biden and his young son, Hunter Biden. Warren is wearing some Native American attire including a tomahawk which memories of her claim of being an Indian. Hunter Biden stands near his dad holding what appears to a wad of money, perhaps Ukrainian dollars?
Hovering around in the back of the yard are Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama waiting to pop back up in the limelight. Illinois Speaker of the House Michael Madigan is hiding behind the big pumpkin yet In full control of everything. Unfortunately, Barack Obama and Rod Blagojevich did not make the cut this year and will remain in the basement storage room. Don’t feel bad, they are joined in storage by Dick Cheney, George Bush, Oprah, and Dan Quayle. These figures are just built like scarecrows with rubber halloween masks on them that I’ve collected over the last 25 years.
New this year is a section called “the witch-hunt.” The news cycle and the Congress has been focused on impeachment and not much else. This area of the lawn includes Adam Schiff who is leading the impeachment charge against the president. He is joined by Senator Mitt Romney who now is referred to by many as a Never Trumper with his vocal criticism of the president. There is no sign of Nancy Pelosi. I forgot, Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker is here but all the toilets here have been removed, I guess for some property tax reason.
Trick or treaters on Thursday night will be greeted by the whistle blower making his first appearance. He stands near the “dead voters headstone” who just voted and plans to vote again in 2020. New Mayor Lori Lightfoot has not made an appearance yet but Rahm Emanuel is back holding a dead fish. Legend has he Rahm once sent a dead fish to rival member of Congress. The 3000 page healthcare bill also is sitting on the lawn.
We will be giving away the big candy bars for the first 100 kids that knock on our door Halloween night. I will apologize ahead of time in case we offend anybody with our decorations. My suggestion is that everybody needs to chill out a little and enjoy the greatest country in the world, the USA.
It’s just 369 days till the presidential election on Tuesday, November, 3, 2020. Happy Halloween 2019, can’t wait for 2020!
