By John F. Di Leo -
It has recently surfaced that a large number of once well-known English words are suffering from a severe shortage of definitions. We will do our best to help alleviate this condition.
A scenic obstacle course for basement dwellers.
The image left behind by the jackboot of the Left on society’s neck.
The place where medieval doctors and modern bureaucrats inject the needle, when it’s time to start bleeding the patient.
A beautiful place to cover with Chinese solar panels and windmills.
An endangered species.
Ain’t no such thing.
Sure, but Winter’s gonna cost ya…
A ghost town.
The time-honored culinary art of serving half the steak and charging twice the price.
The process of converting tax dollars to kindling.
A magic trick in which currency is burned by the ton but nobody notices the smoke.
Frying wildlife for fun and profit.
The fourteenth century’s technology, today!
A job creation program for repo men and foreclosure lawyers.
A taxable asset designed to keep the Madigan family employed.
Real estate taxes:
A brilliant program in which you work two jobs until you’re 75, so your school district’s Deputy Assistant School Superintendent in Charge of Basket-weaving Equity can retire at 50.
American real estate:
Something nice for the Chinese military to spend its money on.
Ukrainian real estate:
Something nice for the Russian military to spend its money on.
Weapons systems gifts to Ukraine:
Something nice for American taxpayers to spend their money on.
The means of exchange when obtaining Bernie Sanders’ support.
The means of exchange when implementing a Bernie Sanders policy.
The NC-17 version of a Manchin.
Karl Marx without the beard.
Karl Marx with the beard.
Coming soon to a country near you.
Those cheery empty grocery store shelves that you don’t really mind because if they had the stuff, you couldn’t afford it anymore anyway.
Thou shalt not question the source of that “meat.”
The means of exchange when bartering for the freedom of a drug-abusing athlete.
Things Americans don’t make anymore.
Things Americans can’t afford anymore.
Things Americans don’t have anymore.
Where the service industry lives.
An empty building being prepped as the site of a future luxury loft conversion.
Stocks and bonds:
The proper means of restraint, specially designed for politicians in the public square.
A taxpayer-funded office, chartered to shut down your employer and leave you penniless.
A lucrative career path for the schoolyard bully.
A country-sized dumpster fire into which we feed our tax revenues.
A completely undefinable circumstance that only occurs during Republican administrations.
Two consecutive quarters of negative growth:
The impression left in the ground when Whoopie Goldberg and Alec Baldwin fall down.
An outdated relic from the days when the public valued security in retirement.
An outdated relic from the days when the establishment valued human life.
An outdated relic.
Dinner, after environmentalists have wiped out all the cattle.
Getting smaller by the day.
Friends in high places.
The U.S. Department of Justice.
A weekly check that the entire world wishes Joe Biden and Kamala Harris would start collecting as soon as possible.
Copyright 2022 John F. Di Leo
John F. Di Leo is a Chicagoland-based trade compliance trainer and transportation manager, writer, and actor. A one-time county chairman of the Milwaukee County Republican Party, he has been writing regularly for Illinois Review since 2009, including such columns as The Chicago Dictionary, Volumes One through Six.
A collection of John’s Illinois Review articles about vote fraud, The Tales of Little Pavel, and his 2021 political satires about current events, Evening Soup with Basement Joe, Volumes One and Two, are available, in either paperback or eBook, only on Amazon.
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That is brilliant John. Thanks for sharing this!
I, very much, enjoy the workings of your mind and its twisted warped sense of humor!
Excellent, my friend. And I am pleased to see you listed my favorite when defining “economy”: