• Home
  • Illinois News
  • Illinois Politics
  • US Politics
  • US NEWS
  • America First
  • Opinion
  • World News
  • Second Amendment
Thursday, July 10, 2025
Illinois Review
  • Login
  • Register
  • Home
  • Illinois News
  • Illinois Politics
  • US Politics
  • US NEWS
  • America First
  • Opinion
  • World News
  • Second Amendment
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Illinois News
  • Illinois Politics
  • US Politics
  • US NEWS
  • America First
  • Opinion
  • World News
  • Second Amendment
No Result
View All Result
Illinois Review
No Result
View All Result
Home Illinois News

Evers: A Democrats Guide for Moving to Canada

Illinois Review by Illinois Review
November 10, 2016
in Illinois News
Reading Time: 4 mins read
A A
2
26
SHARES
431
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

0

You might also like

Economos: Illinois’ Pension Crisis – A Tale of Mismanagement

Mayor Johnson: Chicago ‘Police Dept. Will Not Ever Cooperate with ICE’

Chicago AM560 Axes Local Morning Radio Personality Amy Jacobson, Keeps Florida-based Host in Cost-Cutting Move

By Dennis Evers - 

If you were one of the registered living or deceased voting Democrats that made a pledge that if Trump wins, you would be heading north of the border to escape the horrendous possibility of fewer taxes, less government intervention and fewer handouts, this guide’s for you.

A few tips before you head north. First if you do keep your promise, bundle up; 22 below zero isn’t uncommon in some cities, but the frostbite scars and missing appendages will make you a living testament to your integrity and show all of those people in the lower 57 states you are a person of conviction. Summer isn’t that hot, although highs of 113 degrees have been recorded, but the intense humidity helps you sweat and keeps you more comfortable. Also, watch out for the state bird: it is actually a mosquito.

Once you have crossed the highly secure border if your paperwork is in order, great things await you. If you are polygamous, each one of your wives can get welfare, too.

Because there is “Gun Control” you can rest easy, as government statistics show that roughly a third of murders are firearm related. On the down side, one of those thirds are stabbings, so you might get carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey, but that’s a small price to pay for not having dangerous guns around for self defense. If you do find yourself with a steak knife sticking out of your torso, “free” healthcare will be something you can look forward to. If you have a job, you know just how large of a chunk of your paycheck is taken to provide this free service, but hey, depending upon what hospital you visit, they may get around to removing your steak knife in a week or two. However if complications arise, the government “death benefit” will pay you a lump sum of $2,295.85 to be planted, if you can find a really good deal on a casket. Unfortunately, you have to contribute for ten years before you are eligible.

Housing: no problem. Assuming you were totally committed to honoring your promise, you went ahead and sold your Prius (after removing the Hillary bumper stickers) or if you’re a “big Hollywood star,” your eco-friendly Hummer and your other worldly possessions, and are heading north. Keep in mind that the average price of a house in Vancouver runs $1,513,800.00, but if that’s out of your price range, you can pick up a deal in Toronto for around $450.000.00. If you want to save big and rent, and test the whole “Canadian” thing, rent is around $1,368.00 for a two-bedroom apartment in Vancouver, and in Toronto it costs around $1,288.00

Here’s something you’re sure to like, progressive laws forbid defaming homosexuals and other “special” people, so you could end up in jail for having a non-government approved joke or opinion. However, as a dyed-in-the-wool lib, you should be right at home with the restrictions on speech and thought. Just like here, you’re entitled to your own opinion, as long as its government approved.

Good news for animal lovers. If you cherish kitty cats and cuddly puppy dogs, but feel that slaughtering the most helpless creatures on earth is OK, Canada has more laws protecting animals than it has for innocent baby Canadian humans.

By now you’re wondering about food, and if you can maintain your bourgeoisie, capitalistic, semi-vegan diet of humus, cheese, yogurt, wine and other delights, the answer is a resounding “YES”! There is just one little problem: a gallon of good ol USA milk runs about $3.00 (just bought a gallon at wally world for $2.00) while it is upward of $7.00 in the great white north. You can still enjoy eating out, but expect to pay higher prices as the competition in the capitalist US keeps the prices down here much lower. If you prefer to eat healthier, it’s only about $1.50 more a day, which works out to only about $550.00 a year per person.

While gas in the states is around $2.25 per gallon, it’s only $1.19 per liter. Wait, my bad, there are 3.78 liters in a gallon so gas is around $4.50 per gallon. You’ll probably wish you hadn’t sold your Prius before heading north.

If you are serious about leaving, you might consider a crowdfunding effort to help offset your expenses as almost everything in Canada is more costly, and there are a lot of us “deplorables” (more of us than you, actually) that would love to assist you in your transition.

It’s a win-win and you really can’t put a price on conviction, eh.

Dennis Evers is a former small town police chief and best selling author. He can be reached at: [email protected]

Related

Tags: Dennis EversIllinois Review
Share10Tweet7
Previous Post

Akin: Election shows voters fed up with judges and personal injury lawyers

Next Post

Election’s Over, Yet Christians’ Work Has Just Begun

Illinois Review

Illinois Review

Recommended For You

Economos: Illinois’ Pension Crisis – A Tale of Mismanagement

by James P. Economos, DDS
July 8, 2025
0
Economos: Illinois’ Pension Crisis – A Tale of Mismanagement

By James P. Economos, DDS, Opinion Contributor There’s been constant debate over Illinois' pension system – and for good reason. It remains chronically underfunded and plagued with issues...

Read moreDetails

Mayor Johnson: Chicago ‘Police Dept. Will Not Ever Cooperate with ICE’

by Illinois Review
July 8, 2025
0
Mayor Johnson: Chicago ‘Police Dept. Will Not Ever Cooperate with ICE’

By Illinois ReviewAt a Tuesday morning press conference at Chicago City Hall, Mayor Brandon Johnson — whose approval rating hovers around six percent — reiterated that local law...

Read moreDetails

Chicago AM560 Axes Local Morning Radio Personality Amy Jacobson, Keeps Florida-based Host in Cost-Cutting Move

by Illinois Review
July 1, 2025
0
Chicago AM560 Axes Local Morning Radio Personality Amy Jacobson, Keeps Florida-based Host in Cost-Cutting Move

By Illinois ReviewIn a shocking cost-cutting move Tuesday, Chicago’s AM560 The Answer terminated longtime morning host Amy Jacobson, as the struggling conservative station grapples with declining relevance –...

Read moreDetails

JB Pritzker Receives 2% in Presidential Poll, Ranks Lowest in Minority Support Among Democrats

by Illinois Review
June 30, 2025
0
JB Pritzker Receives 2% in Presidential Poll, Ranks Lowest in Minority Support Among Democrats

By Illinois ReviewIn one of the first nationwide hypothetical polls for the 2028 Democratic presidential primary, Illinois Governor and billionaire JB Pritzker ranks at the bottom, receiving the...

Read moreDetails

Trump’s Jobs Boom Skips Illinois—Thanks to Pritzker’s Tax Hikes

by Thomas Mccullagh
June 26, 2025
0
Trump’s Jobs Boom Skips Illinois—Thanks to Pritzker’s Tax Hikes

Illinois is missing out on Trump’s U.S. manufacturing boom. While other states welcome new factories, Pritzker’s tax hikes and regulations keep businesses out—and force longtime employers to leave.

Read moreDetails
Next Post

Election's Over, Yet Christians' Work Has Just Begun

Please login to join discussion

Best Dental Group

Related News

IL Freedom Caucus calls on Lurie Children’s Hospital to cease gender services for kids

October 27, 2022

Beckman: Is the Brigham Young University racial slur controversy another hoax?

October 27, 2022

Salvi polling shows closer race

October 27, 2022

Browse by Category

  • America First
  • Education
  • Faith & Family
  • Foreign Policy
  • Health Care
  • Illinois News
  • Illinois Politics
  • Opinion
  • Science
  • Second Amendment
  • TRENDING
  • US NEWS
  • US Politics
  • World News
Illinois Review

© 2024 llinois Review LLC Editor in Chief Mark Vargas Publisher Thomas McCullagh Chief Counsel Scott Kaspar

Navigate Site

  • Checkout
  • Home
  • Home – mobile
  • Login/Register
  • Login/Register
  • My account
  • My Account-
  • My Account- – mobile

Follow Us

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password? Sign Up

Create New Account!

Fill the forms below to register

All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Illinois News
  • Illinois Politics
  • US Politics
  • Health Care
  • US NEWS
  • America First
  • Opinion
  • TRENDING
  • Education
  • Foreign Policy
  • Second Amendment
  • Faith & Family
  • Science
  • World News

© 2024 llinois Review LLC Editor in Chief Mark Vargas Publisher Thomas McCullagh Chief Counsel Scott Kaspar

Are you sure want to unlock this post?
Unlock left : 0
Are you sure want to cancel subscription?