Chicago Tribune's political opinion writer John Kass has everyone in stitches with his latest column raising the question about why any self-respecting Democrat would spend his or her raised funds to run for governor in Illinois. It's a fair question – sure, one could be elected in a Blue State, but he or she would be a fool to think he or she would actually be allowed to run the executive branch as he or she sees fit.
For Pete's sake, the only person that actually does run the state of Illinois has run it for over three decades – House Speaker Mike Madigan (who is also the Illinois Democrat Party's longtime chairman – who else?).
Kass writes that whichever Democrat gets elected, he'll be nothing more than seen as a son-in-law married into "The Family":
A Democrat running for governor with Boss Madigan around is like a wealthy bridegroom stuck with paying for the entire wedding in the hopes of joining the family business. Traditionally, the son-in-law isn’t expected to foot the bill, but this is Illinois.
So the groom pays for the band and the banquet hall; takes care of the priest and the bartenders; the florists, the pastry chefs, the wine merchants, the bakers, the butchers and the cooks. He pays them all.
He also pays for thedress, and the photographers, and the video people and airline tickets for the relatives — and one for Aunt Ida’s evil little ferret, Pepe — paying for every dang thing.
But after he marries the bride and joins the family business, he realizes that the thing he most worried about is coming true, like those nightmares that continue even while you think you’re awake at the kitchen table and then the goblins arrive, eating your dog.
That bridegroom paid for so much, and reporters write glowingly about his great promise and a “New Day for Illinois,” and people expect him to do something. Because he is something. He’s the governor.
But then he learns that, governor or no, he’s just the son-in-law in the family business, and now that all the bills are paid, the Boss is happy. And the Boss isn’t going anywhere.
Read the rest of Kass' hilarious op-ed today HERE.
