To: Illinois Review Readers
From: Illinois Review editorial board
Since CNBC's Chris Matthews declared a couple of weeks ago that "Republicans are told [to] ‘read the Wall Street Journal, play golf, and talk about pro sports.' The men especially are all programmed a certain way. They don't have too many outliers, Republicans. They all behave basically the same, right?", we're breaking our regular format to share U.S. Open standings.
We at Illinois Review seem to owe our readers, who for the most part are conservatives, Republicans and energetic Trump supporters, an apology. We weren't as sensitive as we should have been to what you're really interested in … the WSJ, golf and pro sports. We've mistakenly been focused all this time on serious conservative issues and Illinois' corrupt politics.
So today, we're sharing this morning's PGA's standings on Round 2 of the U.S. Open. (See below)
And as if that wasn't enough, we discovered yesterday that the world's premiere investigative agency – the FBI – revealed through one employee that President Donald Trump's voters are "poor to middle class, uneducated, lazy POS that think we will magically grant them jobs for doing nothing."
That comment was included in the 500 plus page IG report on how the FBI handled the Clinton e-mail investigation released Thursday.
We had no idea that Illinois Review readers fit that description. After 13 years, we remain convinced our readers – conservative, religious, Trump voters – are educated, thoughtful, hard working, valuable taxpayers that do everything they can NOT to drain the public treasury.
But some of them like golf over baseball and football, so we'll give that description to Chris Matthews – and offer the PGA standings for Friday.
God bless you, conservative Trump supporters. Together, we'll not only "Make America Great Again," we'll do the seemingly impossible: we'll "Make Illinois Great Again!"