By Mark Weyermuller -
There is nothing more scary in the fall in Illinois then a bunch of politicians showing up in one place. This is especially true just six days before these crucial midterm elections. For the past fifteen years I’ve decorated my front yard for various holidays. This Halloween is no different. Our yard display - like others in Wilmette, Illinois - consists of orange lights, pumpkins, air-blown characters, and life-sized figures of celebrities, candidates, and elected officials. This one's is located on Lawndale Street.
Our decorations are made of scarecrow-type figures complete with hands, props, and a rubber latex masks. The display is non-partisan. I have one of the largest collections of Halloween masks of politicians in the country, a somewhat dubious distinction. (I’m guessing if I ever get nominated for a cabinet position or the US Supreme Court, this might come up in the confirmation hearings.)
The star and main figure of this year's collection is Justice Brett Kavanaugh. Perhaps the biggest political story of 2018 was the confirmation of President Trump’s second Supreme Court pick. Our Kavanaugh figure is wearing a black robe holding a huge gavel in one hand and a can of Budweiser in other. You may not know this, but he likes beer. Sorry, no figure for Christine Blasey Ford, might upset the neighbors.
In another section of the front yard is President Donald J. Trump joined by new supporter Kanye West wearing a MAGA hat. Next to him is Taylor Swift who was in the news a couple of weeks ago.
No scary lawn would be complete without Illinois gubernatorial candidates J.B. Pritzker and Bruce Rauner. Illinois has 43,000 elected officials in over 7000 taxing districts there is no shortage of material (fodder) for our display.
There is a section for potential 2020 democratic presidential candidates. They include Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, and Homer Simpson. They are joined by a figure wearing an Indian headdress and holding a tomahawk. It looks a little like a modern day Pocahontas and no relation to Elizabeth Warren. There is no Spartacus figure yet, but I did scope out a costume at Party City this week.
Hillary Clinton is back holding her blackberry. Don’t worry, all data has been deleted. She’s joined by Illinois House Speaker Michael Madigan and Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel. Rahm is holding a large dead fish. (Remind me to tell you about the dead fish story sometime.)
Unfortunately, the Barack Obama figure didn’t make the cut this year and will remain in the basement storage room. He’s not alone. Former Governor Rod Blagojevich also didn’t make the cut and remains in my basement. Blago might make a surprise appearance with pardon talk in the news.
There is a copy of the 3000-page Obamacare bill along with an interactive healthcare telephone for free signups. It's actually the "Scream Phone" with sounds like "We are watching you." In front of all the figures is the “dead voter headstone.” This perhaps is the most popular attraction as Cook County is known to have some dead voters show up at the polls.
We have some witches because some are planning to put a hex or a spell on some of our leaders. Others are saying there are involved in a “witch-hunt.” No scary halloween lawn would be complete without a Russian so Vladimir Putin is here joined by Rocket Man himself Kim-Jung-Un.
We will be giving away the big candy bars for the first 100 kids that knock on our door Halloween night. I will apologize ahead of time in case I offend anybody with our decorations. My suggestion is that everybody needs to chill out a little and enjoy the greatest country in the world , the USA.
The decorations come down Thursday as we will put up 20 political yard signs. Feel free to stop by again to see who we supporting next Tuesday. The General Election is November 6 2018 with early voting taking place now. Be sure to vote and just once.
Happy Halloween 2018!
